-
Every time they repainted the lines on the
road, you'd have to buy a new car.
-
Occasionally your car would just die on the
motorway for no reason, and you'd have to restart it. For some strange
reason, you'd just accept this, restart and drive on.
-
Occasionally, executing a maneuver would
cause your car to stop and fail to restart and you'd have to re-install
the engine. For some strange reason, you'd just accept this too.
-
You could only have one person in the car
at a time, unless you bought a "Car 95" or a "Car NT". But then you'd
have to buy more seats.
-
Macintosh would make a car that was powered
by the sun, was twice as reliable, five times as fast, twice as easy to
drive - but it would only run on five percent of the roads.
-
The Macintosh car owners would get
expensive Microsoft upgrades to their cars which would make their cars
go much slower.
-
The oil, engine, gas and alternator warning
lights would be replaced with a single "General Car Fault" warning
light.
-
People would get excited about the "new"
features in Microsoft cars, forgetting completely that they had been
available in other cars for many years.
-
We'd all have to switch to Microsoft gas
and all auto fluids but the packaging would be superb.
-
New seats would force everyone to have the
same size butt.
-
The airbag system would say "Are you sure?"
before going off.
-
If you were involved in a crash, you would
have no idea what happened.
-
They wouldn't build their own engines, but
form a cartel with their engine suppliers. The latest engine would have
16 cylinders, multi-point fuel injection and 4 turbos, but it would be a
side-valve design so you could use Model-T Ford parts on it.
-
There would be an "Engium Pro" with bigger
turbos, but it would be slower on most existing roads.
-
Microsoft cars would have a special
radio/cassette player which would only be able to listen to Microsoft
FM, and play Microsoft Cassettes. Unless of course, you buy the upgrade
to use existingstuff.
-
Microsoft would do so well, because even
though they don't own any roads, all of the road manufacturers would
give away Microsoft cars free, including IBM!
-
If you still ran old versions of car (ie.
CarDOS 6.22/CarWIN 3.11), then you would be called old fashioned, but
you would be able to drive much faster, and on more roads!
-
If you couldn't afford to buy a new car,
then you could just borrow your friends, and then copy it.
-
Whenever you bought a car, you would have
to reorganize the ignition for a few days before it worked.
-
You would need to by an upgrade to run cars
on a motorway next to each other.
[All jokes and graphics are believed to
be in the public domain. If you feel one of these belongs to you, please
let us know the details and we will either remove
the material or provide a link at your request.]
Unless otherwise noted, all photos and text is Copyright © Richard G Lowe, Jr.